A Text Message to Katy


You’re actively making your life life happen. You see the opportunity, and you weigh and measure and poke the variables and the factors, and then you act.

There are things outside of your control, but you manage the things inside of your control. You make life happen.

You’re in Hawaii doing your job and seeing a friend and hopefully making it a point to go surfing and enjoying life. You should be proud of yourself.

And as I see you doing this, I am also aware of me doing this.

This is the life I want for myself. I like myself best when I am going new places for long periods of time. Doing my work. Publishing my writing. Being physically active and being outside. Meeting new people and talking to old. Trying new things. Going to social gatherings. Living offline enough to feel balanced online. Putting myself out there.

I am so fucking excited to get behind the wheel of Stud tonight and go sleep at some Walmart in the eastern Washington desert. And then work from the dolphin tomorrow before driving the rest of the way to Eastern Oregon and parking at the home of one of my oldest and closest friends for a solid 10+ days.

—And here the text ends, but my writing continues—

It is just a choice of how I will move through life. To take the reigns when I can, knowing the possible outcomes of my actions, and taking the course of action that resonates within me. I truly truly truly believe that anything is possible with vision, belief, sacrifice, discipline and commitment.

We create our life around what we are given. There’s no reasons to use as excuses, only obstacles around which we must navigate.

Often I get caught in the future, and the more I practice meditation, the easier I slip back into the present moment throughout each day. It allows me to pause and see the life I am living rather than just the one I want to live. I am living the life I once did actually dream up, and instead of getting so caught up in my next dream version of life, I am feeling grateful and proud of the paths I have taken to bring me here. To this moment. This point in life.

I am doing all the things. And I feel the best I have felt in so long. At 32, I am learning what I truly need. What fulfills me. My formula for peaceful living.

I need these long trips, living and exploring something new. Connecting with people. And just as much, I need the periods of calm between, where I can retreat into my den. I need the wax and the wane. Extreme opposing forces gives me better perspective on balance.

In this point of my life, the moon is full and the season is summer.

(and hey, there is also a full moon next week)

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4 comments

  • It truly scares me how someone I have never met can crawl into my head, take my most personal loves and fears and lay them out so eloquently on a page. Its frightening and amazing all at once.

    4-wheel loves
    4-legged loves
    Nature….and parking lots
    The impossible online/offline balance
    Loving your friends, while cherishing the time alone
    Saying fuck the rules to how society says we should live
    Sacrificing everything so you can make your life as you want it to be

    And the fact that I am reading this in Hawaii (for I let me life just be, instead of forcing it in a direction), makes it all the more scary and wonderful.

    Thank you.

    Like

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